Yesterday, I did a double (a 4:30 pm class and an 8:00 pm class!) and have now completed 18 Bikram classes in 18 days! :) Hooray! I feel amazing. My recent yoga practice has been stirring all kinds of thoughts and feelings inside of me. Most prominently..... this:
Well, sort of. You see, during the past two weeks I have been having another mid-life crisis (perhaps more appropriately named a quarter-life crisis considering I'm 24.5 yrs old). I had one of these my junior year of undergrad when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to choose for a "career". At that point I jumped from veterinarian, pediatrician, and kindergarten teacher before finally settling on genetic counseling.
And now, I'm not sure what I want do to anymore! It's not that I don't want to be a genetic counselor. It is still a career that I love and I think it is an important service that should be provided. I'm just not so sure I want a "career" right now. I'm 24 yrs old and I hardly know myself.
I feel like I've been on this arrow straight path all my life (high school --> college --> graduate school --> career) and I never got the chance to explore myself or the world around me. To use my new-found knowledge of yoga philosophy, I haven't been living in the present but always thinking about the future. As a result, I haven't been able to really enjoy my environment.
My recent yoga practice has really brought to the surface how unhappy this path, what most people would call the prescription of a perfect and successful life, has made me. Once again, it's not that I am unhappy with my choice of career, I just don't know if I really want a career. It never occurred to me in the past that I don't have to have a "career", but that I can do whatever I want to do. Being me can be my career.
The other day, I stopped at Barnes and Noble and was walking through the Career/Job section (ironic, huh?) when I picked up a copy of this book:
In the introduction, Timothy Ferriss talks about how much he hates when people ask him what he does. And I thought to myself, "OMG, I know what you mean! I always hate it when the second or third question out of someone's mouth after you meet them is always 'So, what do you do?' Why is that so important?" So many people define themselves by what they do, and I don't want to be one of those people! (I didn't get the book, but it is definitely on my to-read list!!).
So, I have decided to stop applying for genetic counseling jobs (for now!). My plan now is to.... have no plans! After I finish up my degree, I am heading back home to Texas to live with my parents (no rent) and take some time to explore myself and figure out what will make me happy. Some ideas I have been playing around with are Bikram Teacher Training (I definitely want to do it one day!) or maybe starting a life coaching business. Or maybe both! Most of the people close to me are pretty skeptical about my change of plans, but hopefully they'll stick around and be supportive.
I don't regret going to grad school to get my masters in genetic counseling. Like I said, its a great career and I may decide to pursue it as a career one day. But right now, I don't feel ready for a career (will I ever??). Having a masters degree in itself will help me to get jobs in the future. Plus, I feel like my graduate training has taught me a lot of life skills. In fact, I feel like starting a life coaching business would be a way for me to incorporate many of the skills I learned in grad school and my new yoga addiction to help other people to become successful in their lives.
Anyways, I have many other things that need my attention right now.... like my thesis!
Namaste.
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